The 2024 Republican Party Platform

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In 2020, for the first time in memory, a major political party ran a presidential campaign without a written platform. Traditionally, the Democratic and Republican Parties have each hammered together lists of things they hoped to accomplish over the next four years. Although neither party ever gets to carry out all of its promises, these lists do provide the voters with some guidance about where each party stands on the major campaign issues.

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Although the next presidential election is almost three years away, it appears very likely that the Republicans will once again refuse to produce a platform. And yet, it would be very unfair to accuse them of being devoid of ideas about how our nation should be governed.

Although I lack any standing whatsoever with the GOP, I have taken it upon myself as a patriotic duty to compile the party’s 2024 platform. In so doing, I sincerely believe my list reflects the bedrock political beliefs of the delegates who will be elected to attend the Republican Party’s presidential convention.

The Unofficial 2024 Republican Party Platform

Here is the unofficial 2024 Republican Party Platform:

  1. The 2020 presidential election was stolen from President Donald Trump.
  2. We support a massive “middle class tax cut” which will actually go mainly to the rich and to large corporations – just like the last one we delivered four years ago.
  3. Mandates requiring COVID vaccinations, the wearing of protective face masks and the enforcement of social distancing shall be prohibited.
  4. All federal funding in support of science shall be discontinued and scientists and science shall be disparaged.
  5. If global warming even exists, it is not caused by humans.
  6. State laws restricting voting shall be actively encouraged.
  7. State laws allowing the overriding the results of federal elections shall be encouraged.
  8. Obamacare shall be abolished.
  9. The right to an abortion shall be abolished.
  10. The president shall have the right to issue pardons for state crimes.
  11. Every American shall be granted the right to own all commercially available guns.
  12. The defacement or removal of publicly displayed Confederate statues and flags shall be a federal offense.
  13. All state and federal environmental protection laws shall be abolished.
  14. The funding for the IRS shall be cut by fifty percent.
  15. The Constitution shall be amended to allow a president to serve for life.
  16. The emigration of Moslems, as well as black and brown people shall be sharply curbed.
  17. The Constitution shall be amended to define the U.S.A. as a white Christian nation.