Nancy Pelosi Shocked To Learn Of Successful Portfolio: ‘I Had No Idea How Good I Am At Picking Stocks.’

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Trader of the century and democratic speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi, was shocked to learn that she is incidentally one of the greatest traders of all time. Despite the fact her stock portfolio is up in the hundreds of percent, she claims she had no idea just how good she is at picking stocks.

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Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

How Nancy Pelosi Got So Good At Picking Stocks

After a huge increase in attention to her stock picks, CNBC’s Jim Cramer asked Pelosi how she got so good at picking stocks, to which Pelosi said “Well, I was actually quite surprised at the coverage of my portfolio. I really had no idea how good I am at picking stocks, I just read what I see on CNBC and buy stocks that are magically awarded government contracts a few weeks before I buy them. Just good stock knowledge and luck I suppose.”

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market


Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.