Global Panel of Nations Decides to Ditch Dollar as Reserve Currency in Favor of Reserve Shares of Tesla

Global Panel of Nations Decides to Ditch Dollar as Reserve Currency in Favor of Reserve Shares of Tesla
Continental at IAA 2015 Tesla S 1 01 from NewsMarket with permission

As currencies across the globe collapse the nation’s top brains have come up with a solution. “We plan to ditch fiat reserve currencies in favor of Tesla shares,”  Joseph Stiglitz stated.  “Why hold reserve currencies that continue to depreciate in value when we can hold high quality tech shares like Tesla?”

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As a background, reserve currency is foreign currency held by central banks used for international transactions and investments and considered a “hard currency” or safe-haven.

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Nations To Reserve Tesla Shares As A Long Term Play On World Domination

“With the dollar beginning to collapse, it’s time to diversify into a more stable asset,” the Russian Central Bank stated.  “We see Tesla as a stable asset and long term play on world domination.”

Central bankers across the world met up at Jekyll Island to discuss the new found “safe-haven” asset called Tesla. The consensus was positive. Central banks will begin ditching the failing dollar to swap with blue chip Tesla shares.

“This is a positive development for the many economies of the world,” Jerome Powell stated.  “Our new found reserve currency is backed by a huge accounts receivable balance, Federal tax credits and an investor base built on hope and unreachable optimism.

Tesla bulls continued to bid up shares to unimaginable heights as TSLAQ threw themselves out of windows and into oncoming traffic.

This satire article first appeared on The Stonk Market

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