“Sensitive Fella” Bill Gross Loses Gender Bending Cat

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Bill Gross, a proud cat owner, had a rough year.  

Rough year

After predicting a sharp rise in interest rates due to US economic policies that didn’t materialize, his top anointed successor, Mohamed El Erian, left the company amidst very public disagreements in management focus and style, and then the realization that the thirty year run in bonds may be coming to an end, Gross has had to face the hard realities as never before in his gilded life.

Now he is dealing with the loss of his 14-year companion who shadowed Gross’ every move at home – including following him into the shower and faithfully watching him during appearances on CNBC.

“Tragic end to all living things: They stop living.”

Morning the death of his cat, “Bob,” Gross was melancholy. “There is a tragic end to all living things: They stop living,” he wrote in a corporate blog post. “Our Maine Coon ‘Kitty’ of 14 years stopped living last week. Her name was “Bob” and one of the sweetest animals that anyone could have had.”

Deep personal relationship

Gross had a deeply personal connection with his cat. “Aside from sleeping, Bob loved nothing more than to follow me from room to room making sure I was OK. It got to be a little much at times, especially when entering and exiting the shower.  Why was a female cat named Bob checking me out all the time?” Gross wrote, asking the question on the mind of many.  “Her obsession carried over to the TV, sensing when I was on CNBC and paying apt attention no less.  Bob provided Gross advice on stock picking, but apparently his/her advice in regards to interest rate turning points might have been a little less accurate.

“Bob” is a girl

Then Gross entered a gender-bending realm. “I don’t think she minded having a boy’s name, at least she never mentioned it,” he wrote, while disclosing he brought home the feline after attending his third cat show in as many months.

What does it mean when a man owns a cat? Fox News weighs in…

According to the definitive source on the topic of men owning cats, Fox News claims that men who own cats are sensitive fellas. “he’s not only sensitive, but just loves to send you photos of his cat all day long and post them on Facebook and Twitter. I’m not sure why this is, but guys with cats are prone to such things,” the Fox News report concludes.

The Grosses cremated Bob and buried his/her ashes in the back yard.  The gravestone in the back yard simply reads “Bob. What a girl, what a kitty girl that Bob.”

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