Mark Zuckerberg Reported To Be In FBI Safehouse After Man Attempted to Assassinate Him Citing Him As A ‘Demonic Alien Vaccine Person’

Mark Zuckerberg is currently in an FBI safehouse in an unknown location, after a Florida man traveled to one of his California homes and attempted to assassinate the Zuck. The Florida man wrote a manifesto stating, “I am sorry to my family that I will spend the rest of my life in prison, but this needed to be done we cannot let the evil in our world win, if I have to sacrifice myself to take out this demonic alien entity spreading pro-Vaccine propaganda so be it.”

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Mark Zuckerberg Is Now In An Undisclosed FBI Safehouse

Unfortunately for the Florida man, he was quickly tackled before reaching Zuck’s front gate and had several armed guards point guns at him until police arrived and took him into custody. But the incident shook up Zuck’s wife so the FBI has offered to keep a watchful eye over Zuckerberg in an undisclosed safehouse until they feel safe enough to return home.

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.