25 Quotes From Ben Graham You Didn’t Know Existed

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Ben Graham, known as the father of value investing has given a wealth of knowledge to the investment industry. However, there is a handful of wisdom and quotes by Ben Graham that hasn’t become as mainstream as his other works. Here are 25 quotes from Ben Graham you didn’t know existed.

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Quotes From Ben Graham That You Didn't You Know Existed

  • "Mortgage your grandmother’s house and go all in on leverage when the EV stocks hit record highs.”
  • “The greatest industry in the developed world is slangin’ dope.  ROI on dope slangin’ is double digits.”
  • “When you lose money in the stock market, feel free to drive recklessly through school zones.”
  • “When a CEO of a public company tells the SEC to suck his doodle, go all in.”
  • “Money, women, cars and clothes.”
  • “I wrote The Intelligent Investor as a joke.  Can’t believe people take that book so seriously.  What idiots.”
  • “Everyone I have ever met who attempts to beat an index is an absolute miserable goat.”
  • “She stunk like fish.”
  • “In my whole life, I have known no wise people who didn’t get drunk all the time — none, zero.”
  • “I like my dividends like I like my women…thicc.”
  • “I like big butts and a cannot lie.”
  • Violent J from the Insane Clown Posse is the greatest investor to ever live.”
  • “The quickest way to financial freedom is by defrauding investors.”
  • “The early bird gets drunk.”
  • “Her knockers were the size of ten gallon buckets.”
  • Value investing is done best when you don’t do it at all.”
  • “I wrote the chapter on ‘margin of safety’ blacked out on mushrooms.  I seriously hope no one takes that advice from me.”
  • “Tesla has an infinite total addressable market because they will be selling cars to aliens soon.”
  • Getting wasted in the basement was our only obligation.
  • All I wanna do is get white boy wasted.
  • “The greatest asset a landlord has is the ability to put hidden cameras in the units and sell the footage on the dark web.”
  • “Buying stocks under book value is cool, but have you ever seen a big booty white chick?  Oh my lord.”
  • “Charlie Munger is a chump.”
  • “The internet was invented to pump penny stocks.”
  • “Stocks only go up.”

This satirical  article first appeared on The Stonk Markets