Snake Bites Man’s Penis – Ouch

Snake Bites Man’s Penis – Ouch
lalabell68 / Pixabay

If you are squeamish, perhaps this is not the best article for you, but if you enjoy a bloody cock, please read on with morbid fascination…

Toilet Trip of Hell

For some it’s the fear spiders, for other people it can be excruciating to be at any great height, but one phobia that is probably not too common is the fear of having your penis bitten by a snake while blissfully sat on the John going about your daily business.

But that is exactly the fate that befell poor Atthaporn Boonmakchuay. Boonmakchuay, 38 years old and from Chachoengsao, which is East of Bangkok in Thailand was minding his own business, sat on his throne, perhaps reading the funnies in the newspaper, when the unimaginable happened. He said he felt a sharp bite, never usually a good sign, in the downstairs department, and looked down to see just your average 11ft python, with its jaws clamped tightly around the end of his own mini ‘python’.

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Hungry Python

A big battle ensued, the epic fight to ‘Free Willy’, with Boonmakchuay passing out in the excitement of the whole affair, but he bravely managed to a rope around the head of the snake and connect that to the bathroom. Reports suggest he cried out to his wife, just before his own lights went out.

He was rushed to a local hospital having suffered large blood loss (it’s not just a mans brain that is stored in there).

Footage has been released showing emergency service personnel trying to free the python from the pipes below the water closet, with intricate tools, like hammers.  Top detectives have inspected the crime scene and concluded that the naughty bandit must have swum up the pipes leading into the house, and headed to the toilet.

Happy Ending

The penis loving python was eventually freed from the pipes and released back into the wild, hopefully not too close to any other houses or no one will be sitting comfortably on the toilet anytime soon.

Mr Boonmakchuay remains in hospitable recovering physically and mentally from the traumatic ordeal. Our thoughts are with him.

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While studying economics, Brendan found himself comfortably falling down the rabbit hole of restaurant work, ultimately opening a consulting business and working as a private wine buyer. On a whim, he moved to China, and in his first week following a triumphant pub quiz victory, he found himself bleeding on the floor based on his arrogance. The same man who put him there offered him a job lecturing for the University of Wales in various sister universities throughout the Middle Kingdom. While primarily lecturing in descriptive and comparative statistics, Brendan simultaneously earned an Msc in Banking and International Finance from the University of Wales-Bangor. He's presently doing something he hates, respecting French people. Well, two, his wife and her mother in the lovely town of Antigua, Guatemala. <i>To contact Brendan or give him an exclusive, please contact him at [email protected]</i>
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