WASHINGTON D.C – The Federal Reserve has moved a new motion that restricts senior elected officials from buying individual stocks for their portfolios. This realization came after they decided in a three hour long meeting that letting individuals with direct knowledge of government contracts with publicly traded companies buy stocks is a potentially dangerous idea.
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Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.
Using Insider Information To Trade Stocks
“It was a hard decision to make.” Chairman of the Fed Jerome Powell said. “It was hard to make this decision because we just don’t know how our senior officials use their insider information to trade stocks. It’s hard to prove, say for example, Nancy Pelosi only buying stocks that are awarded government contracts is nefarious, it could be a complete accident for all we know.” Chairman Powell added.
This post first appeared on The Stonk Market
Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.
