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Johnson & Johnson Gain FDA Approval For New Booster Shot That Is 79% More Effective at Causing Blood Clots

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Johnson & Johnson (NYSE:JNJ) is yet again making headlines after the pharmaceutical company was granted FDA approval for their new booster shot.

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Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

Johnson & Johnson Shares Soar On Its Booster Shot News

Johnson & Johnson boasted about its lack of safety, citing “We out did ourselves with this one. Our new booster shot is now 79% more likely to cause blood clots, as to our previous jab which only had a roughly 32.5% chance at giving one a blood clot.”

Johnson & Johnson shares soared on the good news.

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.