Home Politics Johnson & Johnson Gain FDA Approval For New Booster Shot That Is 79% More Effective at Causing Blood Clots

Johnson & Johnson Gain FDA Approval For New Booster Shot That Is 79% More Effective at Causing Blood Clots

Advertisement Disclosure: When you purchase through our sponsored links, we may earn a commission from our partners. By using this website you agree to our T&Cs.

Johnson & Johnson (NYSE:JNJ) is yet again making headlines after the pharmaceutical company was granted FDA approval for their new booster shot.

Q3 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

Johnson & Johnson Shares Soar On Its Booster Shot News

Johnson & Johnson boasted about its lack of safety, citing “We out did ourselves with this one. Our new booster shot is now 79% more likely to cause blood clots, as to our previous jab which only had a roughly 32.5% chance at giving one a blood clot.”

Johnson & Johnson shares soared on the good news.

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market


Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

Our Editorial Standards

At ValueWalk, we’re committed to providing accurate, research-backed information. Our editors go above and beyond to ensure our content is trustworthy and transparent.

Editor
Investing

Which Stocks Should You Buy, and Sell, in 2026?

Dave Kovaleski5 months

Also, the 3 sectors that Wall Street analysts are most bullish about. The usual suspects dominated in 2025 as both the Communication Services and Information Technology sectors helped boost the...