The Johnson & Johnson is the hot topic of today’s news after the FDA & CDC recommended its vaccinations be paused following rare types of blood clots after vaccination reported in six different women as well as other side effects. While it is unclear if the J&J vaccine is directly responsible for these adverse reactions due to small sample size out of an ‘abundance of caution’ J&J is offering free baby powder as well as $15 gift cards to Dave & Busters to the women who suffered the blood clots.
Sorry For Your Blood Clots
In a handwritten note from J&J CEO Alex Gorsky given to the women that The Stonk Market has received exclusively Gorsky writes, “Sorry for your blood clots lol, should of gotten the Pfizer vaccine, feel better soon though XOXO Alex, don’t sue us plz.”
Alexa Ortiz, one of the six women to suffer a blood clot said “This is the greatest insult of a generation, had they given me a $40 gift card I would have stayed quiet, but this billion dollar company just had to cheap out. I am in contact with a lawyer to discuss what sort of legal action I can take from here on out. It is my full intention to sue J&J and get what I rightfully deserve, I also plan on covering myself with the baby powder in hopes I get cancer and can double my payday.”
Article by Osiris Foux
This article first appeared on The Stonk Market