Bill de Blasio Admits Illicit Affair With Gov. Cuomo to Secure NYC COVID Funding; “I did this for the People Of New York-I’d Do It Again”

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In an announcement that shocked every New Yorker north of Bleeker Street, Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that he had also been solicited for sex by Governor Andrew Cuomo in exchange for increased COVID relief dollars from the state.

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Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

Mayor Bill de Blasio Confesses

“I felt like I couldn’t say no,” de Blasio said in this morning’s press conference. “I did it for the people of New York City and I’d do it again, I saved countless lives on my knees that night.”

Bill de Blasio joins a chorus of sexual assault and harassment accusers targeting the New York State Governor. Cuomo denied the accusations, tweeting this afternoon, “These accusations are absurd and a ploy in Bill’s shameless efforts to advance his political career by pandering to the far left fudge packers.”

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market


Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.