Our brains react subconsciously to what is said during business negotiations. To succeed, it’s important to choose your words carefully and be aware of the tone of your voice. Chris Voss is the author of “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It“
Transcript – How you use your voice is really important and it’s really driven by context more than anything else, and your tone of voice will immediately begin to impact somebody’s mood and immediately how their brain functions. There’s actually scientific data out there now that shows us that our brains will work up to 31 percent more effectively if we’re in a good mood. So if I smile at you and you see it or you can hear a smile in someone’s voice, if I automatically smile at you and you can hear that I like you, I will actually be able to reach into your brain, flip the positive the switch, it puts you in a better mood there are mirror neurons in our brain that we have no control over; they automatically respond. And if I intentionally put you in a good mood your brain will be working more effectively and that already begins to increase the chances that you’re going to collaborate with me. You’ll be smarter and you’ll like me more at the same time.
Now upward and downward inflexion, downward inflexion is often used to say this is the way it is; there’s no other way. And I will say it exactly like that. If there is a term in a contract that there’s no movement on and I want you to know it and feel it without me having to say there’s no movement on this, which maybe you want to yell at somebody and that’s ineffective because that triggers a different part of the brain and makes people angry and they want to fight. And I’ve done this in contract negotiations. I’ve said things like, “We don’t do work for hire,” just like that. It lets the other side know there’s no movement whatsoever.
I also may need to put you in a more collaborative frame of mind and if I want to ask you a question I’ll say something like it seems like this is important to you and I’ll inflect up. It’s more driven by context. And I can use an upward inflection to encourage you and smile while I’m questioning you. And that will make you feel less attacked by being questioned because people are made to feel a little bit defensive when they’re question anyway. So if I know if I have to question you, if I want you to think about a different option then I’m going to be as encouraging as possible while I may be very assertive at the same time. Read The Full Transcript Here: http://goo.gl/jGBM66.
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After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.
Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.