Tesla Forced To Stop Taking Bitcoin After Elon Loses Wallet Keys

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In a news shattering event to the bitcoin world, Elon Musk tweeted today that Tesla Inc (NASDAQ:TSLA) will stop taking bitcoin because Elon lost Tesla’s wallet keys.


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Tesla Suspends All Bitcoin Transactions

“We have suspended all bitcoin transactions. We are concerned about the rapidly increasing use of fossil fuels for bitcoin mining and transactions, especially coal, which has the worst emissions of any fuel. I also lost Tesla’s bitcoin wallet keys last weekend when I was high on peyote with Grimes.”

Bitcoin fell to levels not seen since last month.

Since the announcement Pomp has been frantically tweeting to his followers. “OMG, OMG, OMG what do,” one tweet went.

To capitalize on the bitcoin fallout, Pomp’s most loyal followers have set up a betting market on when Pomp will fling himself off his balcony. One user, @pompswifeisamilf, bet $25,000 dogecoin that he would fling himself off tonight.

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.