Moderna Plans To Add Nicotine To Vaccine Formula To Encourage Smokers To Get Vaccinated

Moderna Inc (NASDAQ:MRNA) recently announced to investors they are developing an experimental vaccine that will be optional to take, this vaccine will contain nicotine giving smokers a potent buzz. Moderna hopes this will boost jab rates amongst smokers, who are less likely to get vaccinated according to a recent Buzzfeed poll.

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Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

Moderna's New Vaccine Formula

“We believe this optional vaccine will put us ahead of the bums over at Pfizer and at J&J.” Stephane Bancel, CEO of Moderna said.

Conspiracy theorists did not take kindly to this news, one Twitter skeptic stating “Wow, they are desperate to get us to take the mark of the beast. Only God tells me what to put in my body, and this microchip bullshit isn’t it. Maybe if they added Meth I would consider!”

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.