Moderna (NASDAQ:MRNA) released in a statement that they’re testing adding THC to their vaccine to encourage the 14-18 year old crowd to get their COVID shots in. Moderna CEO Stephane Bancel said “Well it is well known that young teenagers hate shots, but love their pot. We think by adding THC molecules to the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine, which would trigger a few hour long edible like high, would make more young people likely to get vaccinated, which is what we need to flatten the curve.”
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#GIVEMEMYSHOTNOW
This statement shocked a lot of people, especially suburban mothers who wouldn’t believe their Little Timmy smokes a little pot on weekends. But the message seemed to be well received by the youth, the hashtag “GIVEMEMYSHOTNOW” was trending for several hours on Twitter likely spread by broke Gen Z’ers who would do anything for their next high. One Mother on Facebook posted “Yep this is it, first they want to give us the mark of the beast, now they want your kids hooked on marijuana. Still think the shots aren’t satanic?”
This post first appeared on The Stonk Market
Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.
