Laying in bed daydreaming about how good his life could have been if he had not bought bitcoin at $60,000, local man, John Kyle, thought, “If I hadn’t bought bitcoin at $60,000 I wouldn’t be living on food stamps and my wife wouldn’t have a boyfriend.”
“But oh yeah, that’s right. I bought bitcoin at $60,000 like a sheep and now my wife is off banging the plumber and I’m stuck here in this studio apartment I can barely afford holding onto an imaginary internet currency that can’t be used for anything except useless speculation.”
Electron Capital Partners returned 10.3% net for August, pushing its year-to-date returns into the green at 10%. The MSCI ACWI was down 3.9% for August, bringing its year-to-date return to -18.8%, while the S&P 500 was down 4.2% for August, which brought its year-to-date return to -17%. The MSCI World Utilities Index lost 1.8% for Read More
Mr. Kyle was later seen on the fry line at the local Wendy’s were Dogecoin investors were throwing their frosties at him.
This post first appeared on The Stonk Market
Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.