BlackRock Passes Motion To Change Name Of Company to ‘Rock’ To Be More Inclusive

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BlackRock has just passed a motion to rebrand the name of the company, they will no longer be known as BlackRock, effective immediately they will be known as just ‘rock.’


Q3 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.

Rock’s Attempt To Appease The Millennials

“Rock has a long history, and unfortunately our history goes back to a time where people were not overlysenestive. So in an attempt to appease millennials to try to avoid them looking into our shady financial dealings, we have changed our name to ‘Rock’ this way no feelings can be hurt.” Rock CEO Larry Fink said in a statement.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson exploded on his national TV show calling this move the ‘biggest cocksucking ever seen on an national level.’

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.