Elon Musk Announces Tesla Will Split Its Stock Everyday

After seeing Tesla’s stock price rocket on news of the stock split, Elon Musk announced Tesla will begin splitting their stock everyday.  “We will be at a $10 trillion valuation in a month,” Musk tweeted.  “To infinity and beyond!”

Get The Full Ray Dalio Series in PDF

Get the entire 10-part series on Ray Dalio in PDF. Save it to your desktop, read it on your tablet, or email to your colleagues

Q2 2020 hedge fund letters, conferences and more

Tesla's Stock Skyrockets After Announcing The Stock Split

Since announcing the 5-1 stock split, Tesla has skyrocketed more than 70% in under 20 days.  The goal of the stock split was to make shares more affordable for the average investor.  But as anyone with a brain knows, the split will not change the valuation of the underlying business.

Themes for the next decade: Cannabis, 5G, and EVs

CannabisA lot changes in 10 years, and many changes are expected by the time 2030 rolls around. Some key themes have already emerged, and we expect them to continue to impact investing decisions. At the recent Morningstar conference, several panelists joined a discussion about several major themes for the next decade, including cannabis, 5G and Read More


“We have increased our price target to $8,000 per share,” Wedbush stated in an analyst note.  “We arrived at this price target by taking the current price and multiplying it by 17.  Zero, and I mean zero fundamental analysis went into discovering the price target.”

In response to Elon’s tweet, Grimes stated, “I love you but please turn off ur phone or give me a dall.  I cannot support hate. Please stop this. I know this isn’t your heart.”

In other news, a man had a heart attack after attempting to build a discounted cash flow model on Tesla.  Robinhood investors cheered after finding out the man is expected to die.

This satire article first appeared on The Stonk Market