Rodman Chooses Black Pope, Cardinals Do The Picking

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Rodman Chooses Black Pope, Cardinals Do The Picking

It’s all really quite confusing, this pope election business. It’s been made even more so with Dennis Rodman in the picture. Rodman fresh off his befriending mission of Kim Jung Un in Pyongyang recently has arrived at the Vatican to celebrate what he is sure will be the election of the first black Pope.

Rodman Chooses Black Pope, Cardinals Do The Picking

“Today we always want to see something different, and this is going to be different. He will be black, he will be black,” professed the former all-star forward.

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His remarks came as he spoke to CBS News from Italy today, as he worms his way through Europe as a front man for the Irish gambling behemoth Paddy Power. While Rodman insists he doesn’t gamble on such things, he might want to reconsider this given his certainty.

This certainty must certainly be based on the belief that Ghana’s Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson is a frontrunner for the position. But given Rodman’s – lets say panache – with liberal sprinklings of ignorance, I’m unwilling to say that he might just have seen black smoke and allowed his feckless brain to meander to personal hope. Black smoke was twice seen today, but also signifies that no decision has been made.

Presently, white smoke is rising from the Vatican indicating that a selection has been made by the 115 voting cardinals that locked themselves into the Sistine Chapel earlier today. Given the nature of the NBA, a sport where the officials can easily impact a game and where 20 point comebacks are a regular occurrence…..I wouldn’t bet against a last second alley-oop to Italian Cardinal Angelo Scola for the game winner despite clearly pushing off from his defender.

The Catholic Church and its officials, not unlike those in the NBA, have shown a willingness to turn a blind eye to a number of things in the past, a call from Dennis Rodman shouldn’t be too difficult to ignore.

Stay tuned, if Rodman gets this one right Obama may have to reach out to the boy ruler of North Korea tonight as “The Worm” suggested he do last week.

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While studying economics, Brendan found himself comfortably falling down the rabbit hole of restaurant work, ultimately opening a consulting business and working as a private wine buyer. On a whim, he moved to China, and in his first week following a triumphant pub quiz victory, he found himself bleeding on the floor based on his arrogance. The same man who put him there offered him a job lecturing for the University of Wales in various sister universities throughout the Middle Kingdom. While primarily lecturing in descriptive and comparative statistics, Brendan simultaneously earned an Msc in Banking and International Finance from the University of Wales-Bangor. He's presently doing something he hates, respecting French people. Well, two, his wife and her mother in the lovely town of Antigua, Guatemala. <i>To contact Brendan or give him an exclusive, please contact him at [email protected]</i>

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