But have they really? While there may be few things less depressing than watching someone’s grandmother playing nickel slots in an Indian casino on Bainbridge Island, Washington in a room trimmed with reclaimed carpeting from the last Mirage renovation, this comes close. Carpets are stained with tears and spent dreams at $0.05 a go that never quite gets back to the reservation. An octogenarian crushing out lit cigarettes with swollen ankle-filled shoes from the early 80’s gets closer, if only it had a Tom Waits soundtrack. Sad the money went into the machine rather than to the pharmacist where the co-pay could have taken care of the ankle swelling. But that’s gambling, just as the saddest bit of gambling tries to right its ship, the Zynga IPO.


Just sell already. Or don’t. This isn’t advice. This is what Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) has been reduced to these days.

The “Life of Pi,” and a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean never looked as rudderless as the gem of NASDAQ that gave us Farmville and others. At least a Bengal tiger will rip your face off quickish, whereas Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) just re-rips your heart out each day, mostly due to Facebook’s “moving on” with its life.

Facebook Inc (NASDAQ:FB) is a bully. I don’t know what happened between the two companies, their difference of opinion, nor why Mr. Hoodie threw them to the wolves. Before they got to the wolves, however, Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) had a chance to have lunch with the kids at the least desirable table in the middle school cafeteria.

That’s where Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) met a number of kids who weren’t sure of their sexuality, kids the world wasn’t ready for, twelve year-old’s who at that table had no trouble discussing their love of Judy Garland in the 80’s. Same decade that slot-playing shoe came from. 

I’ve been bullied, but not like that.

Zynga is betting on slot machines

Ranting aside, Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) is betting on slot machines that won’t pay to rescue itself. “Slot machines” with a Wizard of Oz theme.

When Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) bought Spooky Cool Labs, they bought the Wizard of Oz theme that Spooky used to design a city-building game.

While Zynga Inc (NASDAQ:ZNGA) won’t right their ship with social slot machines, the full details/specs of Zynga’s most recent misguided effort, Hit It Rich: Casino Slots, are available here.