Yesterday, Federal authorities executed a search warrant at the Virginia headquarters of hardwood flooring, stalwart Lumber Liquidators Holdings Inc (NYSE:LL).

Lumber Liquidators

Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Homeland Security Investigations spokesman Brandon Montgomery said the warrant was executed at the company’s Toano, Va., headquarters and a Lumber Liquidators business location in suburban Richmond in coordination with U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and the Department of Justice.

Given the lack of details, a Homeland Security spokesman and the involvement of the U.S Fish and Wildlife Service, I will leave speculation to people with better imaginations. That said, it’s quite obvious that Lumber Liquidators Holdings Inc (NYSE:LL) was involved with creating false bottoms on Mexican-made motor homes using protected hardwoods in order to ship both illegal immigrants and terrorists alike around the country for a massive, yet coordinated attack on America’s heartland.

Montgomery didn’t say this, rather, he refused to indicate whether the warrant was served with regards to a single employee or the company as a whole. Consequently, I’m sticking with my story.

A spokesman for the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Virginia did not immediately return a phone message that USA Today left seeking comment.

In a statement, the company said it is cooperating to provide information and documentation to “answer questions relating to the importation of certain products.”

The flooring company opened its milestone 300th location in the United States this year and presently sits on 305 locations.

Though I think I’ve already gotten to the bottom of  Lumber Liquidators Holdings Inc (NYSE:LL)’s legal shenanigans, Homeland Security, according to its website, also probes domestic and international activities including immigration crime, human rights violations (including human smuggling), financial crimes, cybercrime and terrorism.

July saw Lumber Liquidators Holdings Inc (NYSE:LL) report a second-quarter net income of $20.4 million, up 68 percent year-over-year on $257.1 million in revenue. It also announced planes to maximize its supply chain by constructing a new distribution center outside Richmond, VA and lease another facility in California.

Shares of Lumber Liquidators Holdings Inc (NYSE:LL) added $2.16, or 2 percent, to close Thursday at $112.96. In after-hours trading, the stock fell 2.6 percent to $110.05. The stock has traded between $47.31 and $115.59 in the past 52 weeks, and has more than doubled since the start of the year.