MS-13 in El Salvador Expects Profits To Rise As They Plan To Kidnap Crypto-Entrepreneurs

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The Stonk Market has spoken exclusively with a commander of MS-13, ‘El Jefe’, in El Salvador who told us how the gang is reacting to the government making Bitcoin legal tender of the nation.

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How do you expect this to change things for your gang’s operations?

El Jefe: “Nothing this will make it easier actually, we’ve always used Bitcoin to hide transactions but now this will just make it so we don’t even have to pretend to pay tax.”

Your President has publicly called for Americans to move her in hopes of starting Crypto related business, how do you feel about that?

El Jefe: “I feel great about that, more rich gringos to kidnap and extort is more money in our pockets. I say good job Mr. President.”

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.