NBA Player Claims iPhone 6 Ruined His Season

NBA Player Claims iPhone 6 Ruined His Season
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Some of you may have clicked on this article expecting some satire worthy of The Onion, but the story is 100% true.

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Two-time NBA champion Matt Bonner recorded his worst shooting percentage since his rookie campaign this past year, and he thinks he knows where the blame lies. The 35-year-old veteran is not blaming Father Time for his decline, but instead the latest version of Apple’s iPhone 6, writes Buster Hein for Cult Of Mac.

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Shooting percentage takes a hit, blames iPhone 6

Bonner started last season with a 41.4% average from three-point range over the course of his career. Sadly that stellar mark took a hit this year, as the San Antonio Spurs forward connected on just 36.5% of his looks.

The explanation may seem outlandish, but Bonner certainly seems to have thought it through. He used a recent interview to claim that his poor shooting performance was down to the larger iPhone 6, which caused him to suffer a serious form of tennis elbow which eventually ended his season.

“Everybody is going to find this hilarious, but here’s my theory on how I got it,” Bonner told the Concord Monitor. “When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one, and I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch further to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that’s how I ended up developing it.”

Sportsmen beware larger smartphones

As strange as it may seem, Bonner genuinely seems to believe that his elbow injury was caused by the new iPhone. However the standard iPhone 6 measures just 4.7 inches, while the iPhone 6 Plus is slightly larger, at 5.5 inches. Even the larger version of Apple’s flagship smartphone would appear small in the hands of a man who is 6’10” tall.

If the basketball-playing man mountain has struggled with the larger iPhone 6, why have we not seen a tennis elbow epidemic among those users who do not have hands of a size more often seen on grizzly bears?

The Spurs medical staff have since confirmed that Bonner’s concerns about the iPhone 6 are genuine. The forward apparently spoke to a member of the team’s coaching staff about the issue, and the coach admitted that he had suffered a similar injury after playing too many games on his smartphone.

As bizarre sporting injuries go, it’s up there with former England cricketer Derek Pringle, who was sidelined after putting his back out while typing a letter.

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While studying economics, Brendan found himself comfortably falling down the rabbit hole of restaurant work, ultimately opening a consulting business and working as a private wine buyer. On a whim, he moved to China, and in his first week following a triumphant pub quiz victory, he found himself bleeding on the floor based on his arrogance. The same man who put him there offered him a job lecturing for the University of Wales in various sister universities throughout the Middle Kingdom. While primarily lecturing in descriptive and comparative statistics, Brendan simultaneously earned an Msc in Banking and International Finance from the University of Wales-Bangor. He's presently doing something he hates, respecting French people. Well, two, his wife and her mother in the lovely town of Antigua, Guatemala. <i>To contact Brendan or give him an exclusive, please contact him at</i>
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