Dave Portnoy Forces $NADA Supporting Employee to Get SafeMoon Brand

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Nothing Coin $NADA has been ripping through the internet in recent days as the latest and greatest shit coin in the game. In fairness, its fundamentals are strong. As a ‘nothing coin’ it is widely believed to be tax exempt.

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Which makes sense when you think about it… Because… I mean, you can’t take nothing?

Anyway—it is not all fun, games, and to the moons for everyone when it comes to the nothing coin.

Tommy Smokes Stumbles Upon Nothing Coin

Meet Tom “Tommy Smokes” Scibelli. He is a content creator at Barstool Sports, who recently stumbled upon $NADA and his relationship with the cryptocurrency it has put him at odds with his boss (master) Dave Portnoy, who had recently endorsed SafeMoon.

“It is unbelievable really…” Portnoy told The Stonk Market, “Yeah, I mean, I love Tommy… But you just have to know better. I JUST endorsed SafeMoon and here he is promoting some new crypto? Something simply had to be done.”

And done something was.

In front of an internet audience of 60.000 ravenous viewers Portnoy took a hot iron crafted to read ‘SafeMoon – Love DP’ and pressed it firmly into Tommy’s upper back. Scibelli’s eyes were watery, but honestly, he seemed more aroused than anything.

Afterwards, Portnoy did show some slight remorse wondering whether or not this was one of those things that might ‘age poorly’ as the world continues to ‘soften.’

Only time will tell, Dave.

This post first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article.