Pfizer Announces COVID-19 Vaccine Upgrade, Now Includes Microsoft Chip For Reduced Symptoms

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Pfizer Announces COVID-19 Vaccine Upgrade, Now Includes Microsoft Chip For Reduced Symptoms
Engin_Akyurt / Pixabay

Pfizer just released a new statement for investors citing they’ve inked a deal with Microsoft to integrate their Pluton processor chip to reduce symptoms associated with the vaccine. In the release it is stated that receivers of the new vaccine expect reduced fatigue, reduced soreness, heightened awareness etc.

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Q1 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more

Microsoft CEO Praises Pfizer's COVID-19 Vaccine Upgrade

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella said “This is a great revolution in medicine, with the addition of Microsoft’s powerful Pluton chip, it will make tracking the data of vaccine recipients easier than ever. We can use this chip to regulate body temperature, reduce chances of COVID-19 contraction, and make one more likely to choose our products over Apple.”

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It is rumored Apple plans to ink a similar deal with Moderna, but nothing is confirmed yet. Microsoft ($MSFT) shares are down 2% and Pfizer ($PFE) shares are up 1.3% in After Hours trading.

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Article by Osiris Foux

This satire article first appeared on The Stonk Market

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