Oh No, Will.I.Am Has “Designed” A Tesla Model S

Oh No, Will.I.Am Has “Designed” A Tesla Model S
Blomst / Pixabay

Tesla’s best-selling vehicle, the Model S, was designed by Franz von Holzhausen, a famed automotive designer who left Mazda North America in order to work for Elon Musk’s electric vehicle company. If there is anyone who knows how to design a car to look like a happy puppy, it’s Holzhausen, but this time, however, he had nothing to do with this grinning ghoul of a “Tesla” we see here.

Will.I.Am fancies himself an automotive designer

Will.i.am is a musician that dedicates most of his time to singing, composing, and producing “music” for himself or other musical artists. However, it seems as if he uses his free time to create some truly awful technological creations. While his musical talent might be seen as questionable (he has been accused of musical plagiarism multiple times), his latest automotive “masterpiece” through his design company, IAmAuto, is an awful hybrid between a sport car, and electric car, and Philip K. Dick’s worst nightmare.

After creating his own smartwatch and a strange bracelet for making phone calls (Will.I.Am is too cool for using regular, boring smartphones), the Black Eyed Peas front man has taken a liking to “designing” cars. His first creation was an absolutely disgusting take on a classic DeLorean, but now he has created his own Frankenstein-esque version of one of the most exciting cars on the market, the Tesla Model S.

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Thanks to a poor, helpless citizen who may now be traumatized for life, we have video footage of this Frankenstein Tesla.

From the detailed video shot at night time, it’s easy to see that the rear doors of the car have been changed into rear-hinged suicide doors. However, they still retain the stock handles that extend as the driver gets near the vehicle.

Say what you will about the deep-dish wheels and the new body lines all over the car. We can all agree, I think, that the worst feature of this car is the huge, stupid-looking grin on the car’s front end. This massive, grinning, “intake” vent could possibly in the running for all-time worst grille shape. Could this be the vehicular “Totoro?”

One of the most heinous features of the vehicle is the aftermarket installation of random ventilation inlets on the front and sides of the car. This is absolutely unnecessary for a Tesla (it is an electric car, for the love of Darwin).

Tesla Model S F1 NASCAR LeMans Frankenstein

The thing about the vehicle is that every single modification made has the form of something fast and racey. The car is extra low, the body is extra wide, the wheels are extra big, and there is a massive air intake and other assorted “vents” around the body. These are all traits that one might see on a midengine prototype race car.

This is not one of those. This is a massive sedan, without an engine.

Will.I.Am has taken the impeccable design on the Model S and has changed it into an electric motor with a huge shell that almost looks like a sports car. The result here is potentially the ugliest Tesla to have ever hit the streets, and our eyes will never be the same.

While studying economics, Brendan found himself comfortably falling down the rabbit hole of restaurant work, ultimately opening a consulting business and working as a private wine buyer. On a whim, he moved to China, and in his first week following a triumphant pub quiz victory, he found himself bleeding on the floor based on his arrogance. The same man who put him there offered him a job lecturing for the University of Wales in various sister universities throughout the Middle Kingdom. While primarily lecturing in descriptive and comparative statistics, Brendan simultaneously earned an Msc in Banking and International Finance from the University of Wales-Bangor. He's presently doing something he hates, respecting French people. Well, two, his wife and her mother in the lovely town of Antigua, Guatemala.
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