Buy Lingerie for Her? No, Buy Her the Company

Buy Lingerie for Her? No, Buy Her the Company
Source: Made with Photoshop

Two of the least favourite people in the world of high finance are at it again. Yesterday saw the announcement by Frederick’s of Hollywood that the Lingerie maker has accepted a payment of $10 million from a division of Phil Falcone’s publicly traded Harbinger Group Inc (NYSE:HRG) in exchange for running the company.

Buy Lingerie for Her? No, Buy Her the Company

It’s expected that should they exercise that option, Harbinger Group Inc (NYSE:HRG)’s Five Island Asset Management would appoint a majority of the board. Presumably, Falcone’s fashionista wife Lisa Marie would become one of these selections.

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The purchase comes on the heels of sagging FOH sales, apparently their 118 stores don’t employ a push-up bra that namesake Frederick Mellinger invented years ago.

Lisa Marie Falcone, had a few claims to fame last year: Firstly, she may be the proud owner of  the worst looking mugshot since Nick Nolte’s famous GHB episode. Nolte has claimed that the notorious mug shot was not a mug shot at all, but that a young police officer took it with a Polaroid camera when he was undergoing a blood test following his arrest.

Wait, I take that back. Lisa Marie Falcone could challenge Cleveland Browns player Desmond Bryant, whose mug shot last week featured him shirtless, eyes half closed, tongue sticking out of his mouth like a dog needing water on a hot summer’s day. Point is, It wasn’t terribly flattering no matter the comparison.

The picture came after Lisa Marie was charged with “Driving While Ability Impaired” while hopped up on booze and painkillers, and begging both drivers she hit with “my husband will take care of everything.” “It was a very, very slow moving accident,” Sgt. Susan Ralph told the New York Daily News. I guess that’s the pills.

Despite all this, what’s really difficult to stomach, or more difficult to stomach than the booze and pills is the fact that the two can essentially buy a retailer after declaring bankruptcy last year. Philip had filed bankruptcy to prevent Carl Icahn and other creditors from forcing him to step aside at LightSquared, when the S.E.C. filed complaints against him—one of which focused on a $113 million loan he gave himself.

What was the $113 million for, I love this bit? Renovations on their St. Bart’s home, the purchase of Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione’s 27-room town house for $49 million, yes, the one that was designed after the set of Caligula, and hiring a bunch of midgets to play Munchkins at their twin daughters’ birthday party.

They may not have anything on Donald Trump but they’re working on it.

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While studying economics, Brendan found himself comfortably falling down the rabbit hole of restaurant work, ultimately opening a consulting business and working as a private wine buyer. On a whim, he moved to China, and in his first week following a triumphant pub quiz victory, he found himself bleeding on the floor based on his arrogance. The same man who put him there offered him a job lecturing for the University of Wales in various sister universities throughout the Middle Kingdom. While primarily lecturing in descriptive and comparative statistics, Brendan simultaneously earned an Msc in Banking and International Finance from the University of Wales-Bangor. He's presently doing something he hates, respecting French people. Well, two, his wife and her mother in the lovely town of Antigua, Guatemala. <i>To contact Brendan or give him an exclusive, please contact him at [email protected]</i>

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