“History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.” – John Eliot
How To Lead Your Life Mindfully
Naysayers are negative people often filled with envy who pull down the legs of others. They are insecure and incompetent individuals with an inferiority complex. They are envious of others’ achievements. They often criticize, condemn, and complain about others. They are part of the problem, not the solution. They ignore positive aspects in others and enjoy negative aspects and elevate them. They often cut corners to trouble others. They enjoy hurting others than gaining from them. They deflate others’ tires with their sadistic streaks. They pour acid over others’ dreams to demolish self-confidence. They distract others from goals and objectives.
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Naysayers turn me off. My father was a litigant but optimistic. He was an alcoholic but responsible. My mother is affectionate but a constant complainer. She is envious of others’ success and enjoys sharing overheard information with others without any confirmation. Unfortunately, I was born in a toxic environment. Some of my relatives were rogues and naysayers, and are responsible for most of my current challenges. They tried many ways to stop me from growing in life. Of course, I never cared for them but I am cautious about them.
My siblings are naysayers. My younger brother told me that I was finished when I failed in business. He preached me to pursue employment. One of the younger sisters was excited about my failure in business. She told me curtly that I must suffer from failure. The irony was that her husband also failed in business and we sheltered in our home. My elder sister was excited when I failed in business and informed me sarcastically that I lost my image among my relatives. I funded the education of another younger sister who divorced her first husband. I funded her education to enable her to acquire qualifications and stand on her own feet economically. She ridiculed my funding to her education as peanuts. I used to send money for her education when I served in the Indian Air Force from my little savings. Of course, I also funded another childhood friend who left employment in the middle to pursue higher goals. So, I had bitter experiences with my siblings who are naysayers. Despite all these naysayers I survived because of my best friends—books.
God showed me the right path and got me out of that toxic environment by placing me in the Indian Air Force when I was 19 years old. I joined the Indian Air Force because I was passionate about serving my nation. Additionally, my parents were not in good financial condition to continue my education to pursue my degree. Indian Air Force taught me to become a positive person and groomed me as a leader. I chose to surround with positive people and friends. After leaving the Indian Air Force, I did business for some years that did not work out well. I had a few friends in the business who are ambitious with business acumen. After I joined the teaching profession, I enjoyed positive psychology and inspired students. After I became a speaker and author, I have been practicing positive psychology and inspiring people with my books and publications. It is a transformation of my life journey from a toxic environment to a healthy environment both physically and mentally.
My book proposals were often rejected. My research papers and articles were rejected frequently. I missed several opportunities when I was close to the victory by a whisker. My success rate is the lowest while the failure rate is the highest. Hence, my life is filled with frequent rejections and several insults, and I am used to them. But I never lost my hope. I have become an optimist and I am sure one day will be my day. Abraham Lincoln has been my inspiration since my childhood. I am transforming the world by sharing my knowledge freely through my blogs and social networks.
How to Stay Away from Naysayers?
Here are some ways to stay away from naysayers. Surround with positive and healthy people who excite you with their ideas. Be choosy with your circle of friends. Read good books that transform your life and add value to others.
Don't compare with others because you are a gift from God with unique talents. Identify and leverage them to achieve success. Remember the fact that who wins at the end of the race counts, not who is leading in the middle of the life race.
You find three kinds of people in life. Some people talk about the individuals; some talk about the issues; and some talk about the ideas. Surround with individuals who talk about ideas because they are the individuals who excite you in every moment of your life. Listen to podcasts, read biographies of inspiring personalities who rose despite odds stacked against them. Screw the naysayers and lead your life mindfully.
When someone approaches and shares the information, check for authenticity, relevance, and utility. If you find them incompatible with your principles, put them into your mental dustbin. Stay away from them politely with your soft skills.
When you think excessively about naysayers it means you have taken your eyes off from your goals. So, focus on your goals and you will not have any time to think about naysayers.
When you are surrounded by naysayers, try to reform them by talking about the positive aspects of life. Teach them gratitude. Elevate their hidden potential. Encourage them to appreciate great things around them. Tell them to look at the door that is opened, not the closed. Tell them to enjoy every moment of life, but remind them not to forget the destination.
Finally, it is folly to fight back with naysayers. Avoid asserting yourself and explaining your stand because it is a wastage of your precious time and energy. The best thing is to ignore them. Winston S. Churchill rightly remarked, “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” Eminent personalities including Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs succeeded because they did not listen to naysayers. Extraordinary achievers don’t respond to their naysayers. Instead, they publish their contributions in books, journals, and magazines to reach out to larger audiences and gain credibility to quieten the naysayers.
Having hailed from toxic family background, I was also negative in my childhood. But I have the great habit of taking feedback positively. When some of my friends corrected my way of thinking, I realized that I had the pessimistic tendencies and replaced them with optimistic activities and transformed myself. So, taking honest feedback helps you immensely to overcome negativity in life.
My Life is a Bed of Thorns
“The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.” —Aristotle
Accept the reality that naysayers are an integral part of everyone’s life. You must handle them with your soft skills and respond to them with your hard skills and achievements.
My life has been a bed of thorns since childhood. I rose from humble origins. I belong to a lower-middle-class family. I still have financial challenges and struggle even today due to a lack of income from my books and training programs. But I am passionate about writing books and sharing my knowledge freely with the world. To conclude, avoid naysayers. Believe in yourself. Invest your efforts consistently to accomplish your dreams and lead your life mindfully. You will find your naysayers clapping you over your success along with others one day.
“So many of us go through life with our stories hidden, feeling ashamed or afraid when our whole truth doesn’t live up to some established ideal.” —Michelle Obama