Interview with Warren Buffett on his decision to purchase GOLD

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Warren Buffett, in the height of the Q2 panic, dumped airlines and banks.

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Value Is Dead

Turning to Munger, Buffett says, “Value is dead… we’re getting dumped on by Reddit, Robintraderz, Dave Portnoy, and even my wife’s boyfriend’s grandson.. He’s 11.”

Munger, moping in a sense of shame, looks up at Buffett and says, “You want to win back the graces of the people? You must do what they do. Same team, my guy.”

Buffett thinks, “I should print out and read some discord chats for ideas… let’s find the dumbest and obvious DD out there.”

Munger: “Too smart, gotta dumb it down more.”

Buffett: “What if we announce a SPAC, that buys a piece of BRK.A”

Munger: “Dumb, but not dump enough.”

Buffett: “hmm.. what about a SPAC that buys a fund that shorts BRK.B”

Munger: “That’s so idiotic it probably would work, but we need something even crazier than that.”

Buffett, growing short tempered in his old age, replies grumpily, “Shorting Berkshire is so autist, The DNC would want to nominate me for president.” Under his breath, he thinks, “What does he want me to do? Buy pet rocks?!”

Munger, wide eyed, whispers, “Even…. dumber than that….”

Warren Buffett, standing and pacing at this point, stops suddenly, turns to Munger, grabs his shoulders at the same time in perfect synchrony, both say “Gold……miners!”

They both quickly limp back to their desks untangle the cord to their telephones, and start calling the PMs.

Warren Buffett's Search For The Best Gold Miner

Warren Buffett shouts to his analyst, “find me the best gold miner we got!”

Munger looks back over and says, “This is not the way. Ya just gotta buy whoever has GOLD as the ticker.”

Buffett, confused by his partner’s quick decision after 50 years together, ponders the logic…

Buffett: “it’s so dumb, that it’s genius.”

Munger: “Its the GOAT play. You just MJ’d the whole investing population…”

Buffett, snickering with an evil smile and twinkle in his eye, mumbles, “yeah…. screw you, Dave Portnoy.”

This satire article first appeared on The Stonk Market.