Only Texas Is Big Enough to Hold the Republican Convention

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Don’t you think President Donald Trump is entitled to a traditional nominating convention full of hoopla and unmasked gun-carrying delegates chanting, “Four more years! Four more years!” — not to mention, “Lock her up! Lock her up!”? And wouldn’t it be great if the convention could have a nice anti-immigrant theme?

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Regretfully, Charlotte, North Carolina is not working out. “Democrat” Governor Roy Cooper is placing too many restrictions on crowd size, and is agreeing to only a greatly scaled down convention.

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Hold the Republican Convention In Texas

So the president may decide to move the convention to a more accommodating state. Permit me to offer a helpful suggestion:  Why not the great state of Texas!?

Think of the all the advantages that the Lone Star state brings to the table. You can carry a gun. It’s got a Republican governor, Greg Abbott, who not only adores the president, but is only too willing to do his bidding.

But that’s not all, folks! Bordering on Mexico, Texas has a large part of what has been built of Trump’s “big beautiful wall.” And best of all: According to recent poll numbers, Texas is beginning to shape up as a possible presidential battleground state with the second largest trove of electoral votes after California.

The convention could be held in San Antonio’s Alamodome, which can seat up to 72,000. If the delegates sit four chairs apart in every three rows, it could hold almost 5,000 delegates, alternate delegates, and other members of the Republican royalty.

Hospitable Accommodations

Now we get to the best part. In the spirit of that old Texas-style welcome to asylum-seekers from Central America, all the delegates could be provided with equally hospitable accommodations within very easy walking distance of the convention. The housing committee could build cages for them right out there in the Alamodome parking lot, replete with comfy concrete floors.

Because proper social distancing will be maintained among the cages and in the Alamodome, no one will need to wear a face mask. This sea of unmasked faces will be a reassuring presence to a president who clearly considers blind loyalty his followers’ most admirable trait.