14 Of Charlie Munger’s Funniest Quotes

Charlie Munger is known for his quick wit and sense of humor, and one of the best sources of Munger’s humorous quotes is Poor Charlie’s Almanack. Here are fourteen of Munger’s funniest quotes from the book:

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1. I’d rather throw a viper down my shirt front than hire a compensation consultant.

2. When asked at a cocktail party whether he played the piano, Charlie replied, “I don’t know, I’ve never tried.”

3. I always like it when someone attractive to me agrees with me, so I have fond memories of Phil Fisher.

4. It is, of course, normal for self-appraisal to be more positive than external appraisal. Indeed, a problem of this sort may have given you your speaker today.

5. When you mix raisins and turds, you’ve still got turds. [Comparing the benefits that the Internet and technology are providing to society versus the evils of stock speculation in these sectors.]

6. In the corporate world, if you have analysts, due diligence, and no horse sense, you’ve just described hell.

7. It’s been so long since we’ve bought anything that [asking us about our market impact when we’re trading] is like asking Rip Van Winkle about the past twenty years.

8. When I first moved to California, there was a part-time legislature that was controlled by gambling interests, racetrack owners, and liquor distributors, who wined and dined the legislators, supplied them with prostitutes, etc. I think I prefer that to today’s full-time legislature.

9. [On the book Deep Simplicity], it’s pretty hard to understand everything, but if you can’t understand it, you can always give it to a more intelligent friend.

10. If you rise in life, you have to behave in a certain way. You can go to a strip club if you’re a beer-swilling sand shoveler, but if you’re the bishop of Boston, you shouldn’t go.

11. I think the people who are attracted to be prison guards are not nature ‘s noblemen to begin with.

12. You don’t want to be like the motion picture executive who had many people at his funeral, but they were there just to make sure he was dead. Or how about the guy who, at his funeral, the priest said, “Won’t anyone stand up and say anything nice about the deceased?” and finally someone said, “Well, his brother was worse.”

13. [Responding to a question at the 1999 Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting about the year 2000 compliance issue, Munger replied:] I find it interesting that there is such a problem. You know, it was predictable that the year 2000 would come.

14. Ben Franklin was a very good ambassador, and whatever was wrong with him from John Adams’ point of view [I’m sure] helped him with the French.

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Article by Johnny Hopkins, The Acquirer's Multiple



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The Acquirer's Multiple
The Acquirer’s Multiple® is the valuation ratio used to find attractive takeover candidates. It examines several financial statement items that other multiples like the price-to-earnings ratio do not, including debt, preferred stock, and minority interests; and interest, tax, depreciation, amortization. The Acquirer’s Multiple® is calculated as follows: Enterprise Value / Operating Earnings* It is based on the investment strategy described in the book Deep Value: Why Activist Investors and Other Contrarians Battle for Control of Losing Corporations, written by Tobias Carlisle, founder of acquirersmultiple.com. The Acquirer’s Multiple® differs from The Magic Formula® Earnings Yield because The Acquirer’s Multiple® uses operating earnings in place of EBIT. Operating earnings is constructed from the top of the income statement down, where EBIT is constructed from the bottom up. Calculating operating earnings from the top down standardizes the metric, making a comparison across companies, industries and sectors possible, and, by excluding special items–earnings that a company does not expect to recur in future years–ensures that these earnings are related only to operations. Similarly, The Acquirer’s Multiple® differs from the ordinary enterprise multiple because it uses operating earnings in place of EBITDA, which is also constructed from the bottom up. Tobias Carlisle is also the Chief Investment Officer of Carbon Beach Asset Management LLC. He's best known as the author of the well regarded Deep Value website Greenbackd, the book Deep Value: Why Activists Investors and Other Contrarians Battle for Control of Losing Corporations (2014, Wiley Finance), and Quantitative Value: A Practitioner’s Guide to Automating Intelligent Investment and Eliminating Behavioral Errors (2012, Wiley Finance). He has extensive experience in investment management, business valuation, public company corporate governance, and corporate law. Articles written for Seeking Alpha are provided by the team of analysts at acquirersmultiple.com, home of The Acquirer's Multiple Deep Value Stock Screener. All metrics use trailing twelve month or most recent quarter data. * The screener uses the CRSP/Compustat merged database “OIADP” line item defined as “Operating Income After Depreciation.”