Google Buying Apple? Yes, It’s As Crazy As It Sounds

Google Buying Apple? Yes, It’s As Crazy As It Sounds
FirmBee / Pixabay

If you’re wondering about the news of Google buying Apple, we’ll cut right to the chase. No, it’s fake news, and we don’t have Facebook to blame for it, or at least not directly. Apparently, the Dow Jones Newswires had some type of “technical error” which caused the release of several false stories about Google buying Apple.

In a statement, Dow Jones said traders should disregard the headlines that ran between 9:34 a.m. and 9:36 a.m. Eastern.

According to the fake news stories, Apple co-founder Steve Jobs arranged the tie-up between the two companies in his will. Supposedly, Google is buying Apple for a mere $9 billion, which is quite hilarious given that Apple’s market capitalization stands at $803.6 billion, and some have seen a $1 trillion market cap as being within striking distance for the iPhone maker.

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The stories about Google buying Apple are written like satire, with Google employees even being “quoted” as saying, “Yay,” about the deal.

So if you saw any of the headlines or spotted a tweet about it, you probably were quite shocked, and here you are searching for answers. The opening part of the first sentence makes it pretty clear that the article is satire, however, as it reads, “In a surprise move to everyone who is alive…”

The Dow Jones Newswires have Google CEO Larry Page having “secret talks” with Jobs in 2010 to strike the deal, which supposedly was announced when Jobs’ will was read in Cupertino, Calif. Of course, when his will was read, there was no such announcement. He passed away in October 2011, so even if the headlines about Google buying Apple were true, the announcement would’ve been made years ago.

The satire continues by saying that the deal “is expected to close tomorrow,” and every Google employee receives nine shares of Apple stock.

“Obviously Google will move into Apple’s fancy headquarters,” the article adds, to which Google employees respond with, “Yay.”

Dow Jones Newswires has now removed all the fake stories about Google buying Apple. Anyone who took the time to read any of the fake stories can obviously see that they’re fake, but Apple stock blipped a couple of dollars higher suddenly at the moment of their release. In all likelihood, 9to5 Mac is correct and algorithms had the computer equivalent of a knee-jerk reaction and grabbed some shares of Apple stock between 9:34 a.m. and 9:36 a.m. based purely on the headlines alone. It took only a few minutes for Apple stock to correct itself.

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