I’m Terrified I Will Be Laid Off

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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.

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Dear Bev,

I work for a very large firm that is undergoing significant cost-cutting measures. This is corporate-speak for lots of my colleagues being laid off. I’m worried and depressed much of the time thinking about the potential of losing my job. I am the main breadwinner for my family and care for my elderly father as well as three kids in college. It would be nothing short of disastrous if I were to lose my job.

I know I am supposed to keep “chin up” (this is what my boss tells me) and stay positive, but I find myself focusing on the what-ifs most of the day. Even when I am home I don’t find myself enjoying anything. All I can think about is that I can’t afford to spend money and need to batten down the hatches with my budget.

I know this isn’t good for me or my family but I don’t know how to rise above the situation. I keep thinking if I stop worrying about it, that’s when something really bad will happen. What can I do to keep my job and stop worrying about keeping my job?

T.K.

Dear T.K.,

How about creating a plan B for yourself? One of the things I have learned over the years is that while losing a job can seem like the end of the world, for most people it can represent new opportunities and new challenges. I don’t mean to be a Pollyanna because I understand the financial hardship you would face. It sounds like you would be hit hard initially by losing your job.

However, given the reality of most businesses, having a plan B and reinventing yourself and what you can offer to your employer (or any other employer) is not a nice-to-have, but an imperative. The cost-cutting you are experiencing is going on in other places as well, but there are employers seeking top talent and trying to fill open roles.

While there are contractions, there are also opportunities.

There are two pieces to your personal puzzle–the first is getting a grip on your psychological state and rising above the morass you have pulled yourself down into by worrying. Many years ago I read a line by Zig Ziglar that has always stuck with me: “Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it comes due.” When we worry, we deplete our resources in advance of the trouble and by doing so we are less equipped and capable to deal with the trouble when (if) it does come. So you are burning emotional energy thinking about something that may never happen.

How does one get out of doing this? You may benefit from talking to a therapist (and see if your employer has an employee assistance plan (EAP) you could use). But you could also try reframing your self-talk from doom and gloom to a life experience you can manage if you need to. Watch how you talk to yourself, the words you use to pull yourself down and the negative picture you paint for yourself. Every time you catch yourself telling yourself something negative, use the STOP! technique. Picture a red STOP! sign in your mind to interrupt the negative thought process. Have a more neutral statement ready to replace the negative one. This looks like this:

Woe is me if I lose my job – I won’t be able to let my kids finish college and we’ll all be eating cat food.

By Beverly Flaxington, read the full article here.

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