Stock Market Quotations, From The Works Of Sophronia Tibbs by HathiTrust
PM ABT CLX CLStock market quotations, from the works of Sophronia Tibbs [pseud.] collected by Leonard Hatch and illustrated by Herb Roth.
The Stock Market opens at ten o’clock,
And all about the members flock;
For exactly five hours they will try
To buy stocks low and sell them high.
If of that they cannot make a go,
At least they can buy them high and sell them low.
So step up, ladies and gents, the Market is open.-
And from the bottom of my heart-Here’s hoping
That the day’s events will so luckily run
That you’ll make your fortune, each one,-
Whether you happen to be a million dollar buyer
Or a shipping clerk taking his very first flier.
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A tip is very quiet,
It doesn’t make much noise;
But what a sacred thing it is
Among the Wall Street boys.
Tis passed along from mouth to mouth,
It skips from ear to eat,
And if you’ll just believe it,
It is beautiful to heat.
It tells you just what stocks and bonds
Are going up, and why;
It fills you with the impulse
To immediately buy.
It covers every naughty hook
With most alluring bait;
And the nicest thing about it is
That it is always termed straight.
And if upon a banana peel
You’ve ever had a slip,
You know exactly how it feels
Whene’er you take a “tip.”
When stocks go up, he seems to think
That they will never drop;
But when way, way, way down they sink
He fears they’ll never stop.
When Bulls are plenty as can be,
Then nothing else will do;
But when the Bears get busy, he
Puts on a bear-skin too.
Sometimes he’s talkative as sin,
Sometimes he won’t say nothing,
And when you ask him how to win,
He’s mum as any muffin.
As for predicting how things’ll go
He always seems to fear it:-
He loves to my-‘ ‘I told you so!”
But hates like time to hear it.
He’s non-committal if you try
To force him that he tell,
He’ll say it might be wise to buy,
And also wise to sell.
In other work, such is his position,-
That be decaf! object to the usual commission.
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