It’s not that I don’t like Canadians, I just find them reserved, a bit boring, and far too polite. It reminds me of the old joke, “How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?” Simple, you ask. Invariably you will simply be met by shouts of, “Ok, Sure you betcha ehh..,” or something to that effect. While there is nothing wrong with being well-mannered look at the difference between Chicago in 2012 where no fewer than four people were killed in shootings with another 21 injured. Independence Day disputes are part of our culture to say nothing of the fact that fireworks do a great job of masking gunshots to settle old disputes.

Fourth Of July Independence Day

Too much of anything is well, too much. When I lived in Shanghai, I found it too safe. The obvious exception to this was during Chinese New Year and the fireworks that are made available to anyone with money regardless of age. Fireworks that would make our, Southern states—famous for lack of fireworks safety—blush with fear or envy.

The Japanese are too polite. Singapore too clean. The Irish too drunk. The Germans too organized. Once again, I like all of these qualities in moderation. Or more fitting to myself, as in the words of Oscar Wilde, “I do everything to excess except moderation.” So with that, enjoy your Independence Day.

While I disdain moderation, I’m actually going to applaud the restraint the Canadians showed on Monday and say to those at Lake Havasu, Arizona this week, try to keep the date rape and boat accidents to a minimum.

People Gearing Up For Independence Day

The following is a collection of excess at its best and worst as people gear up for tomorrow’s holiday. Be safe. Don’t drive drunk, and try not to dress up your dog in red, white, and blue. Although if you must dress up your animal here is a good start for ideas or reasons why not.

I hear obesity is an epidemic in the States so what’s one more day. Heavy cream seems to be the theme for the “white” in these patriotic desserts.

Don’t drop the flag, don’t burn the flag unless you drop it, but go ahead and wear one.

Christmas music is necessary, patriotic songs less so. Some of these are great, some hideous, all better than Justin Bieber or Celine Dion.

Again the Chinese do fireworks better, just check out these labels. If that doesn’t work check out these wanna-be mayors that promise “kick-ass” fireworks.

If you still feel the need to dress a dog, maybe try one of these ideas for your hot dogs.

Don’t do any of these top/worst 10 list for the Independence Day.

Have a great holiday, we will be back on Friday!