Amanda Bynes is a hot mess—even hotter now that she set fire to herself, and her little dog too. The now 27-year-old is following her “retirement”, which she announced via Twitter a few years ago, with a string of bizarre behavior that would do Lindsey Lohan proud.

Amanda Bynes

The child star who cut her teeth on the stage before becoming a regular on television shows All That and The Amanda Show is having a bit of a “mid-twenties crisis.” Following regular, if not yearly wins at the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice awards, Amanda Bynes famously announced her retirement at the ripe old age of 25 on Twitter. She later unretired, but then retired from acting again, saying she wanted to focus on her new career as a designer and rapper. That’s probably where we should have realized she was a few links short of a gold chain.

Amanda Bynes “car-ma” not looking auspicious

There are certain people (look at Warren Buffett or Carl Icahn) that just aren’t suited to retirement, although granted both of the gentlemen are in their 70’s. Amanda Bynes is one of these people, especially if behind the wheel of a car. It started in March of 2012, with a simple traffic stop for using a cell phone while driving. Within a month, she was arrested for drunk driving after side-swiping a police car in West Hollywood.

Within five months Amanda Bynes was charged with two hit and run accidents and had her license suspended. Within another five days time, she was arrested twice for driving with a suspended license.

Perhaps owing to the fact that you needn’t drive in Manhattan she moved to NYC and was arrested in short order for criminal possession of marijuana, tampering with evidence and reckless endangerment. The latter two charges stemmed from throwing a bong out her 34th-floor apartment. She of course claiming that the bong was simply a vase, and I’ll give her points for creativity there, but apparently the police also frown on throwing ceramic items to the street from a 34o foot height.

Amanda Bynes takes retirement seriously, enough to break into a retirement village

This week, back in California, Amanda Bynes drunkenly tried to force her way into a retirement community before jumping into a cab without the typical “follow that cab” line but rather the much more interesting, “Get me the f— out of here, I don’t have any money.” She was quickly booted from the cab, before once again trying to enter a retirement community. Not a retirement village for spoiled 27-year-olds but actually old people.

Finally on Monday night—and suggesting that Amanda Bynes problems might not me be so much automobile related as gasoline related—Bynes decided to grab a gas can and start a fire in a stranger’s driveway. In so doing, she not only burned herself but may have burnt her Pomeranian as well.  Bizarre liquor store footage shows the actress entering an Employee’s Only area to wash gasoline from her dog in an employees’ sink.

Add Thousand Oaks homeowner Bonnie Braaten to the list of people who are confused by Amanda Bynes’ actions on Monday night. “I have no idea what she was doing,” Braaten told US Weekly, noting that she’s been told that Bynes’ parents live nearby. “I don’t even think she has an idea what she was doing.”

The police seemed to agree. Based on her answers, they decided she needed to be hospitalized on a 5150 hold, which allows for involuntary hospitalization for mental evaluation for up to 72 hours.