Firstly, that’s just a numbers statement not an indictment of those that watch CNBC. Though those that can stomach Jim Cramer clearly have something wrong with them. Jim Cramer has one again made my annual list of “People I Would Punch On Sight in a U.S. Airport Without Saying a Word.” This doesn’t make me a violent person just a common man who would risk a trip to Gitmo rather than miss an opportunity to smack the idiot that barks, “Buy, buy, buy,” like a Jack Russell Terrier with a methamphetamine addiction. CNBC’s viewership has clearly had enough of that muppet, not to be confused with Jim Henson’s Muppets, and his glaring hypocrisy that leads him to say things like, “I want everyone to play that game at home by recognizing that fraud is part of the equation and the government cannot stop it.” While I’m not certain what he’s talking about by “play that game at home,” I’m guessing he doesn’t either, and it’s just indicative of CNBC’s failings.

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That’s not to say that CNBC does not have talented staff, but for retail investors it’s unnecessary to watch given that many have remained away from the market since Lehman’s collapse. And Cramer doesn’t help. The anchors I would watch are simply guilty by association.

With this lack of viewership, desperate measures have been introduced. A few weeks ago I wrote a piece detailing CNBC’s blatant journalistic plagiarism of Fox Business Network. CNBC launched an “Opportunity in America” road trip that didn’t even hide the fact that they were stealing from the success of FBN’s “Open for Business: Houston” and “Open for Business: Cleveland.” The whole story can be read here.

And if theft doesn’t work…..try puppets.

In a nice piece of reporting by Julie La Roche at Business Insider, CNBC is planning to launch a puppet show to reenact its successful Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. (NYSE:GS) gossip-based Twitter feed

In a press release CNBC Digital announced the launch of the new video studio, CNBC Digital Workshop, which develops and produces original video programming for CNBC Digital products.

Here’s an excerpt from the release:

The Puppets Can Hear You­ – ­yes, we said puppets. In a video homage to the popular twitter feed, “@GSElevator,” puppets bring to life verbatim comments that did not stay in a Wall Street elevator (#ThePuppetsCanHearYou, @PuppetsOH).

Apparently, CNBC is hoping that kids will break open their piggy banks and buy whatever stock Jim Cramer is touting.

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